Monday, June 9, 2014

20 Questions Any Self-Respecting Harry Potter Fan Should Be Asking Themselves

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Harry Potter, have seen each of them multiple times, and intend on watching each of them a few more times. But that doesn't mean the movies don't have some explaining to do at parts. FYI** This is a movie, and not a book review! :)

1) How is it possible to be poor in the wizarding world? The Weasley's are poor. What? This is a world where you don't have to pay for transportation, you can have the house clean itself, repair anything with magic, and frankly, just create items out of thin air. Not only that, Mr. Weasley has a great job at the ministry, the same place where rich Mr. Malfoy works. That is one significant pay increase for a government job. If they are so poor, how did they afford that insane tent at the quidditch world cup? If worse came to worse I might just yell "Accio Food!" and hope that food came through my door. There are spells for everything, even a spell to create water and another to create light. So exactly what bills are the Weasleys not able to pay?


2) Why don’t the good guys just use non-magical weapons, or ask the British military to help fight Voldemort? Why don't they get guns and grenades and stuff? This brings up more points about them still living a medieval lifestyle in modern day England. Why not use email instead of owls? A pen instead of a quill? In fact, I could get more magic done with my iPhone than they usually do in 10 minutes of the movie. I don't need a Marauder's Map, I have the Find Friends App.

3) Why are some curses immoral or unforgivable and others aren't? It is terrible to kill someone with Avada Kedavra, but it is ok to use Mrs. Weasley's spell on Bellatrix Lestrange that makes you disintegrate?


4) Why didn’t Voldemort just throw all of his horcruxes in the ocean? Seriously. He hid them in the most obvious places that had meaning to him. If I were him, I would take one week long trip on the ocean and drop one off the boat every day. We saw how hard it was for Harry to be underwater for longer than 1 hour.

5) What is with the wizarding world job market? Either you work at a shop in Diagon Alley, a shop at Hogsmeade, you work for the Ministry of Magic, or you are a teacher at a wizarding school. There really doesn't seem to be much else available. And what is that type of economy doing to the galleon?



6) When do they and don't they need wands? Dumbledore does tons of magic without a wand, and so does Voldemort. Sometimes Harry even does when he makes that glass disappear. So what is the purpose of a wand? I would want to get good enough so I didn't need one.

7) Does the wand actually pick the user? In the first one everything goes crazy when Harry uses different wands. Later on, he is able to use Malfoy's just fine. Ron uses other people's as well.

8) How can some people heal with magic and others cant? Mr. Weasley bitten by a snake multiple times? Healed. Snape bitten by a snake multiple times? Dead.
 










9) So, wasn’t Snape a legitimately bad dude then? I mean, undercover or not, remember when he just lets that lady who is floating over the Malfoy's dinner table just die without doing anything to help? I'm sure over the years he let many innocent people die. He didn't even end up being instrumental in killing Voldemort after all. Was it all worth it Snape?



10) Who in the heck would want to participate in the Triwizard Tournament? That thing is dangerous! Dragons, drowning, etc. Also, who wins? What was the purpose of the first two events if it just ends with a maze that has a cup, and everyone has an equal chance at getting it? Doesn't the final round just totally negate that the first two rounds ever happened?

11) Why didn't Mad Eye Moody just turn Harry's wand into a portkey instead of the Triwizard cup? Or, better yet, why not turn Harry's pillow into a portkey? That way, he doesn't need to worry about spending 9 months helping Harry win the Triwizard Tournament. He can just wait for Harry to go peacefully asleep at night only to get taken to Voldemort with very little to no effort.

12) Why the heck is the snitch worth so many points? It defeats the purpose of quidditch! Each goal is worth 10 points, and catching the snitch is worth 150 points and ends the game? So virtually whoever catches the snitch wins the game? This negates the rest of the game (Similar to the Triwizard Tournament...don't trust J.K. Rowling to make a point system that works)...Why not just have the seekers go out and look for the snitch and everyone else sit out. I mean come on, make that thing worth only like 20 points or something. Double a goal, don't multiply it by 15. That is like in basketball saying, "The last three pointer of the game is worth 45 points, and then, GAME OVER"



13) When do they wear robes and when don't they? It seems like in the first movie they are always in robes, and then starting with like the fifth movie, they don't. If there is an option, I may opt out of the robes.
 











14) Why doesn't the school just fire Snape? The guy is a jerk. Dumbledore knows he is a jerk. In the end, he really isn't even valuable in defeating Voldemort, despite all the theatrics. Fire that guy, and get him away from our little kids! He is straight up a bad influence.

15) Wouldn't you be self-conscious getting picked to be in Slytherin, what with it being evil and all? A morality has been assigned to each house. I'm just saying, maybe instead of telling you which house they should live in, the sorting hat should just tell you who to kick out of the school immediately, as those kids are most likely going to cause you problems and team up with Voldemort if he comes back.


16) Why do they ever walk anywhere? Why not disapparate everywhere? In the last movie they are being chased by bad guys one place, so they disapparate to the forest, only to find they have appeared near a bunch of other bad guys. So what do they do? They run! How about just disapparating again somewhere else? There doesn't seem to be any reason to ever walk anywhere, or to be around bad guys ever again.

17) If you were Draco Malfoy, wouldn't you hate Dumbledore too? The guy has jipped you out of the house point cup every year by assigning an arbitrary amount of points to Gryffindor which usually came about by Harry breaking some rules, just enough for them to win. He clearly favors Harry Potter in every way, and doesn't care for Slytherin. I mean, I might not like the guy much either if I were Draco.

18) Why doesn't Harry Find other Summer living arrangements after he figures out he is a wizard? Even Dumbledore knows his Aunt and Uncle are virtually abusive, why not get him some other place to live? Harry literally has a bank full of gold nuggets. He could probably find a pretty decent place in London for the Summer. Why not do some traveling?



19) How are Harry’s parents rich? Where did they get all that money? What did they do for a living? And why did they just have it all stacked in the bank waiting for Harry when they died suddenly? They should have that money working for them in the wizarding stock market.

20) Are all wizards and witches Christian? They all celebrate Christmas every year? How do their Christian beliefs line up with the fact that they are all performing magic?

What other questions should Harry potter fans be asking themselves? Do you agree or disagree? Let us know! And don't forget to like our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/Simplefilmcritics